Tips for raising a healthy child

1.Make sure that your child knows that you love them unconditionally Never tell your child that they are fat

2. Strict diets are NOT for children. Neither is depriving Them of food if they are hungry

3. Don't induct your kids to the "clean plate club" if they are not hungry do NOT make them eat until the plate is empty

4.Serve your children balanced meals with "single" servings of food so that theyDon't fall prey to "portion distortion"

5. Teach them how to read food labels and how to determine "single" servings of their favorite foods

6. Take your kids shopping andEmphasize healthy food choices instead of high calorie, nutrient depleted desserts and snacks

7. Offer healthier snacks like light popcorn or pretzels instead of chips

8. Serve fruit with whipped cream or frozen yogurt instead of cake cookies orIce cream for dessert

9. LimitTrips to fast food restaurants - If you must go,Stress "happyMeals" and healthier choices

10.Discourage your children from eating in front of the TV or computer

11. Make regularExercise a regular part of your family's life

12. Regularly involve your children in activities like swimming, or rec league sports and activities

13. Limit tv watching andTime spent sitting at the computer

14. Be a healthy role model for your children by exercising regularly, maintaining an active lifestyle and maintaining a balanced, healthy food plan.

Questions and Answers

Tips for raising a kid to be good.?

I see it all the time. Parents with their little TV's in the cars, distracting their kids so they don't have to discipline or interact with them. I see horrible parents every single day and it makes me sick.

When I am a parent, I will not be one of these parents who expect the TV to raise their kids.

I will use every opportunity I can to teach my kids by example. I will read to them as children, not plop them down in front of a TV for hours on end. I will play and interact with them. My father never did anything with me. He's been saying that we were gonna go fishing or hunting for about the past 12 years (I'm 22 now)...we never have. When I played football for one season in middle school, he never came to my games. He was always "too busy" (he wasn't too busy, he just had no idea how to manage time).

I wanna be the dad that encourages his kids to do sports, join school clubs, do good in school and go to collegeand I want to be involved all along the way. I want them to know that they can do anything they set their mind too, and to never let anyone tell them they can't do something.

I want to teach my kids to be good people. If I'm driving with my child and I see someone on the side of the road struggling to change a tire, I'm gonna pull over and help them and I'll have my kid watch. I will teach my kids to be strong and stand up to injustice (like standing up to the school bully).

I will not be one of these parents who thing McDonalds 5 days a week is a suitable dinner. My kids will eat healthy, yet delicious food. I will allow them the occasional candy or other sweets, but not to the excess I see other parents doing. I will encourage them to be active, by taking them to the park, playing catch, etc.

Anyone have any thoughts/criticisms/suggestions for this? I don't have kids yet, but I do watch my 2 year old niece alot (my sis and her husband live with me), and I want to be a positive influence in her life.

These are some pretty amazing ideas and I wish you the best when you do become a parent at keeping to most (if not all) you intend to do. Unfortunately, it's not always as easy as that. A considerable amount of extracurricular activities cost a great deal of money and depending on how many children you have as well as your financial means, this may be a bit difficult, HOWEVER, on a private level (family, friends, etc) it is absolutely achievable.

Eating 100% healthy, again, wonderful goal, but again number of children and financial means plays a great deal into whether or not this is achievable, not to mention children's friend's influences. It is nearly 80% achievable.

Your best bet, don't condemn parents whom you do not agree with but learn from their actions, if you do not agree with them, just do it differently or not at all. You can't change them but you can change you.

Good luck.

Edit: Also, nothing ever goes completely to plan so when things go a little off-track, just flow with it and adjust.

Edit: Erica is right to a degree, we all will have a moment where we lose our cool and condemn other's for the way they are parenting, does it make it right? Heck no. However, we are humans therefore fallible. We not only learn from our mistakes but those of others and occasionally, it takes a few times for it to really sink in, which makes us still human.

My husband and I will be trying to conceive in the next year or so; what should I do to prepare?

We have never had children before, but are confident that with family support and help, that our children will be raised in a healthy and nourishing environment. What we are seeking here is advice on a healthy conception and pregnancy to ensure that our child is well nourished in the womb. Answers we're hoping for are vitamins I should be taking both before and during pregnancy, things I'll have to start or stop doing, and helpful tips to make things go as smoothly as possible.

Some information; I am 24, this will be my first child, I do not smoke and I do not drink. In our household we have three cats, and I do know the special care that has to be taken with felines during pregnancy.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated, especially from mothers who've been there.

Get ypur body in good condition. Go in for a check up make sure every thing is okay. I've got horrid back probs, and my daughter was an "oops". She turned out okay. Go to the dentist make sure your teeth are in good shape. Pregnancy can be hard on your teeth. I would recommend liquid vitamins (pre-pregnancy) they absorb better. Also avoid synthetic vitamins. As they can be hard on your body. Durring pregnancy many women get sick from the vitamins. If you have this problem try taking children's vitamins. Proof has come out that having animals in your home can actually help a child's immune system. The only thing you have to worry about is changing a cat box. Which doctors will tell you right off the bat. Good luck and congrats ~Rosanne~

any good tips about relationships after birth?

So, my husband and I have a very good relationship. We hardly ever argue anymore and we worked really hard to have the great relationship we currently have.

At one point a couple of years ago we were arguing a lot. Then we started to change the way we went about doing things. When I started raising my voice or if he did we would calmly point out to the other that the voice was starting to be raised. If one of us was in a bad mood and started to argue about something insignificant the other would point out that this argument was not resolving a problem there for not worth arguing over. We just used these little tricks and over time we just turned into a very healthy couple.

Anyway, I know that bringing a new baby into the picture can be very stressful and hard on a relationship. I think it will be pretty good in the sense that I know my husband is very hands on and we are both the kind of person who have wanted nothing more than to be a parent our whole lives. We have also been around quite a few infants, so I don't think that it will be as big of a shock to us as it would to some of our friend who had never been around children before having kids.

I want to know what kinds of tips your moms have for keeping a relationship healthy after having a new baby.

I just love what we have become together and I really don't want to revert back to how we once were (not that we were terrible before, but we just weren't great you know).

You need to have a long discussion before you think about bringing the baby in to the world. Will you be a SAHM? Will he be willing to help with housework? Will he be willing to get up in the middle of the night? Will he be an active father and not expect you to do all the baby care? These things probably sound really small but when you have a baby they are huge and cause a lot of fights if they have not been discussed previously. My partner is lazy, will not get up at night and will not just take our daughter for an hour or two so I can relax. It causes a lot of fighting.

any tips for concieving?

me and my fiance have been ttc for 7 months now, we are both 20 and neither of us smoke and only drink on special occasions, i would say we are both quite fit and healthy although i may be a slight bit overweight...i was on the pill for 5 years.I cant help thinking im never going to be able to have children, ech month i calculate my most fertile days and i just dont understand why its not happening for us, we usually try the missionary position and i lay for half an hour with my hips raised using a pillow, has anyone got any more tips or succsessful stories, please help and running out of ideas to try to get the baby ive always dreamed of.Answers will be much appreciated.x

Oh hunny, a lot of us think we are never going to conceive. It could take an average healthy couple a year to actually get pregnant, each cycle you have a 25-26% chance of conceiving so don't give up!

My husband and I have been TTC for almost 9 months. There isn't much we can do to actually get preggo however if you want to improve your chances try some different methods, charting (which I see you are doing some of these things), using ovulation sticks, keeping up with your CM, temps, and having lots of baby making sex.

I'm reading a book called "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" it has great tips and ideas. One thing I do highly recommend is to start taking your Folic Acid or even prenatal vitamins this would just take you one step ahead of the game.

Also, do a little research on this vitamin called "FertilAid". I have been doing my own research and heard great things about it.

Best of luck!

Who would you send to parenting class?

Family psychologist and parenting expert Helen Weekes is starting a sixteen-week session of weekly evening parenting classes at the local recreation. Below is a list of twenty-one parents whom she must pick to come. Help Dr. Weekes select eleven people who would need to go to these classes the most, based on the situations below.

Mary Louise, 16: is pregnant at sixteen; she is extremely violent with family members and peers, gets into any fight that attracts her interest.

Greg, 21: a young adult father of an 18-month-old; he shows little patience and constantly screams at his daughter.

Rhonda, 44: an at-home mother who runs a catering business from her kitchen; she sometimes gets her two daughters to work with her after school and on weekends.

Jeff, 38: a successful advertising project manager; he frequently includes his two children, ages 10 and 7, in print and video advertisements for legitimate products such as toys and kids’ food products.

Cheryl, 25: continually feeds her 65-pound 4-year-old son large servings of daily meals and in-between snacks.

Kathleen, 45: regularly volunteers at her teenagers’ high school; her recent contribution was to act as a parental escort on an educational spring break trip to East Africa.

Casey, 27: just left his pregnant wife; has lived through a childhood with physically, verbally, mentally and emotionally abusive parents, is terrified of repeating that cycle with his child.

Sandy, 37: married to a police officer and mother of two children; she does volunteer work at a local learning centre and soup kitchen three days a week to keep her résumé updated.

Julian, 36: got laid off from his job three months and is unable to find work; he has resorted to shoplifting from supermarkets and stores to support his three young children.

Brent, 39: a police detective who was widowed six months ago; he works weekday shifts so he can devote evenings and weekends to his two sons, ages 11 and 7.

Shelley, 39: a single mother of a severely “retarded” 10-year-old; she refuses to resort to corporal punishment when her son misbehaves, using only methods prescribed by her family paediatrician; frequently fights with relatives and peers who pressure her to spank.

Thom, 46: has had frequent run-ins with law enforcement since his teenage years; he has been raising his three sons to hate the police.

David, 30: has a four-year-son whom he describes as “wild and unmanageable;” he constantly locks the boy in a closet for hours without food or beverage as punishment.

Valerie, 42: her 14-year-old daughter is a B-average student who helps at the school lunch canteen; she is planning to reward her with a mother-daughter trip to the spa next holiday long weekend.

Glenn, 41: a successful novelist who recently discovered his daughter also has writing talent; he is fluently encouraging her to follow in his footsteps, gives her positive criticism and tips to improve her work.

Jack, 39: has six children under the age of 12, all of whom are out of control.

Tammy, 38: Jack’s wife, won’t go to parenting classes without her husband.

Wayne, 45: a divorced father of a 15-year-old boy; considers himself very attractive and takes a lot of pride in his body; he likes to be shirtless outdoors in warmer late spring and summer weather, is encouraging his son to do the same.

Sharon, 28: a single mother of a five-year-old; she constantly brings new men home to introduce to her son, has sexual relations with her partners with her child in the house.

Randy, 37: a married father of four, and the one who usually prepares family meals; insists on serving his children healthy meals from all four food groups, refuses to let junk food in the house.

Kate, 43: a rageaholic; her 16-year-old daughter has been arrested for prostitution, her 12-year-old son has been suspended from school for attacking his teacher and principal.

Mary Louise, 16: is pregnant at sixteen; she is extremely violent with family members and peers, gets into any fight that attracts her interest.

Greg, 21: a young adult father of an 18-month-old; he shows little patience and constantly screams at his daughter.

Cheryl, 25: continually feeds her 65-pound 4-year-old son large servings of daily meals and in-between snacks.

Casey, 27: just left his pregnant wife; has lived through a childhood with physically, verbally, mentally and emotionally abusive parents, is terrified of repeating that cycle with his child.

Julian, 36: got laid off from his job three months and is unable to find work; he has resorted to shoplifting from supermarkets and stores to support his three young children.

Thom, 46: has had frequent run-ins with law enforcement since his teenage years; he has been raising his three sons to hate the police.

David, 30: has a four-year-son whom he describes as “wild and unmanageable;” he constantly locks the boy in a closet for hours without food or beverage as punishment.

Jack, 39: has six children under the age of 12, all of whom are out of control.

Tammy, 38: Jack’s wife, won’t go to parenting classes without her husband.

Kate, 43: a rageaholic; her 16-year-old daughter has been arrested for prostitution, her 12-year-old son has been suspended from school for attacking his teacher and principal.

Sharon, 28: a single mother of a five-year-old; she constantly brings new men home to introduce to her son, has sexual relations with her partners with her child in the house.

Pregnancy, parenting and a lifestyle of non-smoking?

I want to smoke sooo bad after the baby is born, but I also want to support my boyfriend in his choice to no longer smoke. I was raised with parents that smoke, it was not the reason I chose to be a smoker, and it was the reason my brother NEVER picked up a cigarrette.. I don't feel it is such a health risk for the child, and I don't feel we will go into the poor-house if I continue to buy cigarrettes..

I have decided to be a NON SMOKER after the baby is born, despite all my feelings on it, I want to support my boyfriend, we are a team, and he is making a healthy life-choice.

Does anyone have any tips to remain a NON SMOKER after 7 years of smoking 2 packs a day???

I am afraid I will become a "closet-smoker" [smoke secretly]... Whenever I see smokers and cigarrettes I am tempted to smoke!

Please post whether or not you are an EX-smoker or if you have never smoked.

I quit smoking in October 2005 and have not touched one since, though I've had many times where I really wanted to. Basically I just think of it this way, I quit, and my husband, because I want to be healthy. I also think about how bad people smell when they smoke and am glad I don't smell like that any more. I've also been afraid of being a "closet smoker" but I just continually think of the above mentioned things. So basically, I think it would be silly to start something that is bad for you and doesn't really do anything for you in the long run after quitting. I smoked about 1 1/2 packs a day and smoked continuously for 7 years and a few years before that off and on. Just keep it up and you'll be ok. If you need to, try to find a support group in your area.

What about Skeptics of Buddhism, like us ? Please Patiently read everything.?

Buddhism for beginners
(and sceptical Westerners)
Introduction
Now that Buddhism is such a fast-growing religion in the West, a lot of Westerners are attracted to its rational approach and rejection of an all-powerful deity. But all too often we Westerners quickly get stuck on the idea of rebirth and the various cultural traditions that have become a part of Buddhism in Asia.
I've been there myself - wondering if rebirth is for real, if karma is scientific, if Buddhism is rational, why I have to bow to a statue, and so on - and I almost gave up at one point. I've noticed also that some Westerners pop up on the Internet looking for others who've converted to Buddhism, hoping they can discover the trick to becoming a Buddhist despite a materialist upbringing.
So this page is a mixture of useful resources and my own personal experiences in fully accepting Dharma as a way of life. I hope it will be of some use to others on the same path.
•Where should I start?
•What is Buddhism?
•Are rebirth and karma for real?
•What is our purpose in life?
•What's the difference between Theravada and Mahayana?
•Which tradition should I choose?
•How do I become a Buddhist?
•Which are good books to read?
Where should I start?
If there's one place you should not start, it's reincarnation/rebirth. Newcomers to Buddhism tend to open every book at the section on rebirth because what happens to us after we die is all-important in the monotheistic culture we come from.
But the Buddha wasn't teaching rebirth as the goal of life. He said many times, "I teach suffering, and the way out of suffering." That was his message, to make nirvana (Pali: nibbana) - the end of suffering - the goal. So the place to start is with the basics, the Four Noble Truths and a practice aimed at reducing suffering. If this seems worthwhile to you, you're on your way.
In fact, the best way to start is by doing a lot of reading. You need to know about the basic principles of Buddhism, its founder, its history, the different traditions, and what it can do for you. Even though there's a lot of stuff available free on the Internet, I still think a well-written book is the best way to go. For all of the above, try John Snelling's The Buddhist Handbook : A Complete Guide to Buddhist Schools, Teaching, Practice, and History or Gill Farrer-Halls' The Illustrated Encyclopedia of Buddhist Wisdom (which is also a handbook). These two books are both excellent primers to start off with. There's also a short overview titled What is Buddhism? from the Buddhist Society of Western Australia.
For inspiring books written by Western monks who really understand Westerners' problems, try Ajahn Sumedho's The Mind and the Way : Buddhist Reflections of Life or Ajahn Jagaro's True Freedom, which is available online:
•Chapter 1: True Freedom
•Chapter 2: Compassion - The Natural Expression of Awakening
•Chapter 3: Buddhism and God
•Chapter 4: Beyond Boredom and Depression
•Chapter 5: Buddhism and Vegetarianism
•Chapter 6: Death and Dying
Another book that's a must-read is Thich Nhat Hanh's little-known masterpiece, Old Path, White Clouds : Walking in the Footsteps of the Buddha, a beautiful and easy-to-read story of the Buddha's life drawn from accounts in the Pali Canon and illustrated with line drawings.
For a thorough explanation of the nuts and bolts of the teachings and practice, check out Ayya Khema's Being Nobody, Going Nowhere : Meditations on the Buddhist Path (very good at showing how ego rules our lives) or Henepola Gunaratana's Eight Mindful Steps to Happiness : Walking the Buddha's Path.
There are a lot of good books on Dharma (Pali: Dhamma), but I'd recommend starting of with the original Theravada Buddhism and checking out the Mahayana traditions like Zen and Tibetan when you have a grasp of the basics. What you read will depend on what particular problems brought you to Buddhism in the first place. Some authors, the Dalai Lama and Thich Nhat Hanh, for example, have written books on anger management.
But it's important to practise too. In addition to following the Five Precepts, try practising Right Speech, generosity, compassion, being less self-centred, being less addicted to pleasures of the senses and being less concerned with possessions. And once you have a good grasp of the basic teachings and different traditions, it will be time to start meditating.
Your situation in life may affect your practice and progress. If you live near a temple or Buddhist group, you'll be able to listen to Dharma talks, make Dharma friends and be with a community of like-minded people. If you don't, there are always the Internet and Buddhist forums such as E-Sangha and the Buddhist Society of Western Australia.
I personally live in a Buddhist country where the majority of people don't understand the deeper teachings of Buddhism, so their focus is on making merit for a better rebirth and participating in ceremonies. So I rely a lot on the Internet, on Amazon and a few friends. I rarely go to temples.
What is Buddhism?
The following article is from the website of the Buddhist Society of Western Australia. The author explains karma and rebirth in the traditionally accepted way and is somewhat sceptical about the origins of the Mahayana sutras, but otherwise it's an excellent overview of Buddhism.
Introduction
For more than 2,500 years, the religion we know today as Buddhism has been the primary inspiration behind many successful civilizations, the source of great cultural achievements and a lasting and meaningful guide to the very purpose of life for millions of people. Today, large numbers of men and women from diverse backgrounds throughout our world are following the Teachings of the Buddha. So who was the Buddha and what are His Teachings?
The Buddha
The man who was to become the Buddha was born Siddhattha Gotama around 2,600 years ago as a Prince of a small territory near what is now the Indian-Nepalese border. Though he was raised in splendid comfort, enjoying aristocratic status, no amount of material pleasure could satisify the enquiring and philosophic nature of the young man. At the age of 29 he left palace and family to search for a deeper meaning in the secluded forests and remote mountains of North-East India. He studied under the wisest religious teachers and philosophers of his time, learning all they had to offer, but he found it was not enough. He then struggled alone with the path of self- mortification, taking that practice to the extremes of asceticism, but still to no avail.
Then, at the age of 35, on the full moon night of May, he sat beneath the branches of what is now known as the Bodhi Tree, in a secluded grove by the banks of the river Neranjara, and developed his mind in deep but luminous, tranquil meditation. Using the extraordinary clarity of such a mind with its sharp penetrative power generated by states of deep inner stillness, he turned his attention to investigate upon the hidden meanings of mind, universe and life. Thus he gained the supreme Enlightenment experience and from that time on he was known as the Buddha. His Enlightenment consisted of the most profound and all-embracing insight into the nature of mind and all phenomena. This Enlightenment was not a revelation from some divine being, but a discovery made by Himself and based on the deepest level of meditation and the clearest experience of the mind. It meant that He was no longer subject to craving, ill-will and delusion but was free from their shackles, having attained the complete ending of all forms of inner suffering and acquired unshakeable peace.
The Teachings of the Buddha
Having realized the goal of Perfect Enlightenment, the Buddha spent the next 45 years teaching a Path which, when diligently followed, will take anyone regardless of race, class or gender to that same Perfect Enlightenment. The Teachings about this Path are called the Dhamma, literally meaning "the nature of all things" or "the truth underlying existence". It is beyond the scope of this pamphlet to present a thorough description of all of these Teachings but the following 7 topics will give you an overview of what the Buddha taught:
1. The way of Inquiry
The Buddha warned strongly against blind faith and encouraged the way of truthful inquiry. In one of His best known sermons, the Kalama Sutta, the Buddha pointed out the danger in fashioning one's beliefs merely on the following grounds: on hearsay, on tradition, because many others say it is so, on the authority of ancient scriptures, on the word of a supernatural being, or out of trust in one's teachers, elders, or priests. Instead one maintains an open mind and thoroughly investigates one's own experience of life. When one sees for oneself that a particular view agrees with both experience and reason, and leads to the happiness of one and all, then one should accept that view and live up to it!
This principle, of course, applies to the Buddha's own Teachings. They should be considered and inquired into using the clarity of mind born of meditation. Only when one sees these Teachings for oneself in the experience of insight, do these Teachings become one's Truth and give blissful liberation.
The traveller on the way of inquiry needs the practice of tolerance. Tolerance does not mean that one embraces every idea or view but means one doesn't get angry at what one can't accept.
Further along the journey, what one once disagreed with might later be seen to be true. So in the spirit of tolerant inquiry, here are some more of the basic Teachings as the Buddha gave them.
2. The Four Noble Truths
The main Teaching of the Buddha focuses not on philosophical speculations about a Creator God or the origin of the universe, or on a heaven world ever after. The Teaching, instead, is centred on the down-to-earth reality of human suffering and the urgent need to find lasting relief from all forms of discontent. The Buddha gave the simile of a man shot by a poison-tipped arrow who, before he would call a doctor to treat him, demanded to know first who shot the arrow and where the arrow was made and of what and by whom and when and where ... this foolish man would surely die before his questions could be well answered. In the same way, the Buddha said, the urgent need of our existence is to find lasting relief from recurrent suffering, which robs us of happiness and leaves us in strife.
Philosophical speculations are of secondary importance and, anyway, they are best left until after one has well trained the mind in meditation to the stage where one has the ability to examine the matter clearly and find the Truth for oneself.
Thus, the central Teaching of the Buddha, around which all other teachings revolve, is the Four Noble Truths:
1.That all forms of being, human and otherwise, are afflicted with suffering.
2.That the cause of this suffering is Craving, born of the illusion of a soul (see below, note 7).
3.That this suffering has a lasting end in the Experience of Enlightenment (Nibbana) which is the complete letting go of the illusion of soul and all consequent desire and aversion.
4.That this peaceful and blissful Enlightenment is achieved through a gradual training, a Path that is called the Middle Way or the Eightfold Path.
It would be mistaken to label this Teaching as 'pessimistic' on the grounds that it begins by centring on suffering. Rather, Buddhism is 'realistic' in that it unflinchingly faces up to the truth of life's many sufferings and it is 'optimistic' in that it shows a final end of the problem of suffering - Nibbana, Enlightenment in this very life! Those who have achieved this ultimate peace are the inspiring examples who demonstrate once and for all that Buddhism is far from pessimistic, but it is a Path to true Happiness.
3. The Middle Way or Eightfold Path
The Way to end all suffering is called the Middle Way because it avoids the two extremes of sensual indulgence and self-mortification. Only when the body is in reasonable comfort but not over-indulged has the mind the clarity and strength to meditate deeply and discover the Truth. This Middle Way consists of the diligent cultivation of Virtue, Meditation and Wisdom, which is explained in more detail as the Noble Eightfold Path.
1.Right Understanding
2.Right Thought
3.Right Speech
4.Right Action
5.Right Livelihood
6.Right Effort
7.Right Mindfulness
8.Right Concentration
Right Speech, Action and Livelihood constitute the training in Virtue or Morality. For a practising Buddhist it consists of maintaining the five Buddhist Precepts, which are to refrain from:
1.Deliberately causing the death of any living being;
2.Intentionally taking for one's own the property of another;
3.Sexual misconduct, in particular adultery;
4.Lying and breaking promises;
5.Drinking alcohol or taking stupefying drugs which lead to lack of mindfulness.
Right Effort, Mindfulness and Concentration refer to the practice of Meditation, which purifies the mind through the experience of blissful states of inner stillness and empowers the mind to penetrate the meaning of life through profound moments of insight.
Right Understanding and Thought are the manifestation of Buddha-Wisdom which ends all suffering, transforms the personality and produces unshakeable serenity and tireless compassion.
According to the Buddha, without perfecting the practice of Virtue it is impossible to perfect Meditation, and without perfecting Meditation it is impossible to arrive at Enlightenment Wisdom. Thus the Buddhist Path is a Gradual Path, a Middle Way consisting of Virtue, Meditation and Wisdom as explained in the Noble Eightfold Path leading to happiness and liberation.
4. Kamma
Kamma means 'action'. The Law of Kamma means that there are inescapable results of our actions. There are deeds of body, speech or mind that lead to others' harm, one's own harm, or to the harm of both. Such deeds are called bad (or 'unwholesome') kamma. They are usually motivated by greed, hatred or delusion. Because they bring painful results, they should not be done.
There are also deeds of body, speech or mind that lead to others' well being, one's own well being, or to the well being of both. Such deeds are called good (or 'wholesome') kamma. They are usually motivated by generosity, compassion or wisdom. Because they bring happy results, they should be done as often as possible.
Thus much of what one experiences is the result of one's own previous kamma. When misfortune occurs, instead of blaming someone else, one can look for any fault in one's own past conduct. If a fault is found, the experience of its consequences will make one more careful in the future. When happiness occurs, instead of taking it for granted, one can look to see if it is the result of good kamma. If so, the experience of its pleasant results will encourage more good kamma in the future.
The Buddha pointed out that no being whatsoever, divine or otherwise, has any power to stop the consequences of good and bad kamma. The fact that one reaps just what one sows gives to the Buddhist a greater incentive to avoid all forms of bad kamma while doing as much good kamma as possible.
Though one cannot escape the results of bad kamma, one can lessen their effect. A spoon of salt mixed in a glass of pure water makes the whole very salty, whereas the same spoon of salt mixed in a freshwater lake hardly changes the taste of the water. Similarly, the result of a bad kamma in a person habitually doing only a small amount of good kamma is painful indeed, whereas the result of the same bad kamma in a person habitually doing a great deal of good kamma is only mildly felt.
This natural Law of Kamma becomes the force behind, and reason for, the practice of morality and compassion in our society.
5. Rebirth
The Buddha remembered clearly many of His past lives. Even today, many Buddhist monks, nuns and others also remember their past lives. Such a strong memory is a result of deep meditation. For those who remember their past life, Rebirth is an established fact which puts this life in a meaningful perspective.
The Law of Kamma can only be understood in the framework of many lifetimes, because it sometimes takes this long for Kamma to bear its fruit. Thus Kamma and Rebirth offer a plausible explanation to the obvious inequalities of birth; why some are born into great wealth whereas others are born into pathetic poverty; why some children enter this world healthy and full-limbed whereas others enter deformed and diseased... The fruits of bad Kamma are not regarded as a punishment for evil deeds but as lessons from which to learn, for example, how much better to learn about the need for generosity than to be reborn among the poor!
Rebirth takes place not only within this human realm. The Buddha pointed out that the realm of human beings is but one among many. There are many separate heavenly realms and grim lower realms, too, realms of the animals and realms of the ghosts. Not only can human beings go to any of these realms in the next life, but we can come from any of these realms into our present life. This explains a common objection against Rebirth that argues "How can there be Rebirth when there are ten times as many people alive today than there were 50 years ago?" The answer is that people alive today have come from many different realms.
Understanding that we can come and go between these different realms, gives us more respect and compassion for the beings in these realms. It is unlikely, for example, that one would exploit animals when one has seen the link of Rebirth that connects them with us.
6. No Creator God
The Buddha pointed out that no God or priest nor any other kind of being has the power to interfere in the working out of someone else's Kamma. Buddhism, therefore, teaches the individual to take full responsibility for themselves. For example, if you want to be wealthy then be trustworthy, diligent and frugal, or if you want to live in a heaven realm then always be kind to others. There is no God to ask favours from, or to put it another way there is no corruption possible in the workings of Kamma.
Do Buddhists believe that a Supreme Being created the universe? Buddhists would first ask which universe do you mean? This present universe, from the moment of the 'big bang' up to now, is but one among countless millions in Buddhist cosmology. The Buddha gave an estimate of the age of a single universe-cycle of around 37,000 million years, which is quite plausible when compared to modern astrophysics. After one universe- cycle ends another begins, again and again, according to impersonal law. A Creator God is redundant in this scheme.
No being is a Supreme Saviour, according to the Buddha, because whether God, human, animal or whatever, all are subject to the Law of Kamma. Even the Buddha had no power to save. He could only point out the Truth so that the wise could see it for themselves. Everyone must take responsibility for their own future well-being, and it is dangerous to give that responsibility to another.
7. The Illusion of Soul
The Buddha taught that there is no soul, no essential and permanent core to a living being. Instead, that which we call a 'living being', human or other, can be seen to be but a temporary coming together of many activities and parts - when complete it is called a 'living being', but after the parts separate and the activities cease it is not called a 'living being' anymore. Like an advanced computer assembled of many parts and activities, only when it is complete and performs coherent tasks is it called a 'computer', but after the parts are disconnected and the activities cease it is no longer called a 'computer'. No essential permanent core can be found which we can truly call 'the computer', just so, no essential permanent core can be found which we can call 'the soul'.
Yet Rebirth still occurs without a soul. Consider this simile: on a Buddhist shrine one candle, burnt low, is about to expire. A monk takes a new candle and lights it from the old. The old candle dies, the new candle burns bright. What went across from the old candle to the new? There was a causal link but no thing went across! In the same way, there was a causal link between your previous life and your present life, but no soul has gone across.
Indeed, the illusion of a soul is said by the Buddha to be the root cause of all human suffering. The illusion of 'soul' manifests as the 'Ego'. The natural unstoppable function of the Ego is to control. Big Egos want to control the world, average Egos try to control their immediate surroundings of home, family and workplace, and almost all Egos strive to control what they take to be their own body and mind. Such control manifests as desire and aversion, it results in a lack of both inner peace and outer harmony. It is this Ego that seeks to acquire possessions, manipulate others and exploit the environment. Its aim is its own happiness but it invariably produces suffering. It craves for satisfaction but it experiences discontent. Such deep- rooted suffering cannot come to an end until one sees, through deep and powerful meditation, that the idea 'me and mine' is no more than a mirage.
These seven topics are a sample of what the Buddha taught. Now, to complete this brief sketch of Buddhism, let's look at how these Teachings are practised today.
Types of Buddhism
One could say that there is only one type of Buddhism and that is the huge collection of Teachings that were spoken by the Buddha. The original Teachings are found in the 'Pali Canon', the ancient scripture of Theravada Buddhism, which is widely accepted as the oldest reliable record of the Buddha's words. Theravada Buddhism is the dominant religion in Sri Lanka, Burma, Thailand, Cambodia and Laos.
Between 100 to 200 years after the passing away of the Buddha, the Sangha (the monastic community) split over the political question of 'Who runs the Sangha?' A controversy over some monastic rules was decided by a committee of Arahats (fully Enlightened monks or nuns) against the views of the majority of monks. The disgruntled majority resented what they saw as the excessive influence of the small number of Arahats in monastery affairs. From then on, over a period of several decades, the disaffected majority partially succeeded in lowering the exalted status of the Arahat and raising in its place the ideal of the Bodhisattva (an unenlightened being training to be a Buddha). Previously unknown scriptures, supposedly spoken by the Buddha and hidden in the dragon world, then appeared giving a philosophical justification for the superiority of the Bodhisattva over the allegedly 'selfish' Arahat. This group of monks and nuns were first known as the 'Maha Sangha', meaning 'the great (part) of the monastic community'.
Later, after impressive development, they called themselves the 'Mahayana', the 'Greater Vehicle' while quite disparagingly calling the older Theravada 'Hinayana', the 'Inferior Vehicle'. Mahayana still retains most of the original teachings of the Buddha (in the Chinese scriptures these are known as the 'Agama' and in the Tibetan version as the 'Kangyur') but these core teachings were mostly overwhelmed by layers of expansive interpretations and wholly new ideas. The Mahayana of China, still vibrant in Taiwan, reflects an earlier phase of this development, the Mahayana of Vietnam, Korea and Japan (mostly Zen) is a later development, and the Mahayana of Tibet and Mongolia is a much later development still.
Buddhism's relevance to the world today
Today, Buddhism continues to gain ever wider acceptance in many lands far beyond its original home. Here in Australia, many Australians through their own careful choice are adopting Buddhism's peaceful, compassionate and responsible ways.
The Buddhist Teaching of the Law of Kamma offers our society a just and incorruptible foundation and reason for the practice of a moral life. It is easy to see how a wider embracing of the Law of Kamma would lead any country towards a stronger, more caring and virtuous society.
The Teaching of Rebirth places this present short lifetime of ours in a broader perspective, giving more meaning to the vital events of birth and death. The understanding of Rebirth removes so much of the tragedy and grief surrounding death and turns one's attention to the quality of a lifetime, rather than its mere length.
From the very beginning, the practice of meditation has been at the very heart of the Buddhist Way. Today, meditation grows increasingly popular as the proven benefits to both mental and physical well being become more widely known. When stress is shown to be such a major cause of human suffering, the quieting practice of meditation becomes ever more valued.
Today's world is too small and vulnerable to live angry and alone, thus the need for tolerance, love and compassion is so very important. These qualities of mind, essential for happiness are formally developed in Buddhist meditation and then diligently put into practice in everyday life.
Forgiveness and gentle tolerance, harmlessness and peaceful compassion are well known trademarks of Buddhism, they are given freely and broadly to all kinds of beings, including animals of course, and also, most importantly, to oneself. There is no place for dwelling in guilt or self-hatred in Buddhism, not even a place for feeling guilty about feeling guilty!
Teachings and practices such as these are what bring about qualities of gentle kindness and unshakeable serenity, identified with the Buddhist religion for 25 centuries and sorely needed in today's world. In all its long history, no war has ever been fought in the name of Buddhism. It is this peace and this tolerance, growing out of a profound yet reasonable philosophy, which makes Buddhism so vitally relevant to today's world.
Are rebirth and karma for real?
Is rebirth for real - either as a human or in one of the other realms? This is the question most Westerners ask as soon as they become interested in Buddhism. Karma (Pali: Kamma) - the law of cause and effect - operates across multiple lifetimes, but where's the proof that there is any life other than the current one?
It's a complex subject and each tradition has its own explanation. It isn't uncommon for different teachers in the same tradition to have a different take on rebirth. One thing's for sure, there is no scientific proof of rebirth (yet). There are rational explanations, but they all rest on unprovable assumptions.
One way to approach the question of rebirth is suggested by Thanissaro Bhikkhu, who says, "You don't have to believe in rebirth, you just have to take it as a working hypothesis." Other teachers, such as Ajahn Summedho, have a similar view, that since we can never know what will happen after death, it makes sense to practise Dharma (Pali: Dhamma) and live this life in the best way possible.
Some well-known monks, Ajahn Brahm and P.A. Payutto among them, say that when meditators reach the third or fourth jhana (level of absorbtion) they are able to "read their past lives" as the Buddha did and experience the truth of rebirth. But this ability is by no means universal, even among meditation masters.
Another explanation championed by Buddhadasa, Thailand's most revered monk, is that rebirth in a series of physical bodies is "conventional talk" to make the subject understandable for the masses, but in "Dharma talk" what the Buddha really meant was that each life was the arising of the ego in the mind. So we experience "death" and "rebirth" (of the ego) many times each day. Similarly, the six realms of existence all correspond to states of mind. In the same way, the cause and effect of karma can be observed in our own mental states - when we do good deeds it results in a wholesome mental state, when we do bad deeds, we experience unwholesome mental states.
This rational explanation of rebirth and karma doesn't necessarily exclude the traditional view. It augments it. What works for me is to take both of them as working hypotheses and practise accordingly. Recalling the Buddha's story about the man shot with a poisoned arrow, if we need to have every detail of the teaching proved to us at the outset, we'll be dead before we start practising.
What is our purpose in life?
The traditional answer to this is that our purpose is to attain nirvana and stop the endless cycle of rebirths and suffering. But the idea of a general purpose for mankind suggests that someone or something created that purpose, which in turn suggests an omnipotent deity.
The way I think of it is that we have no pre-ordained purpose. We evolved, and here we are. Because we also evolved language and conceptual thinking, we got stuck with this concept of a self, an ego that makes us feel separate from everything else. The ego needs constant reassurance of its importance, which is why we cling to our views and defend them fanatically, and why we are constantly criticizing others. Our ego rules our lives. It is terrified of being snuffed out.
We handle this in different ways. Some of us have lots of kids so we can feel that a part of us lives on forever through our descendants. Some of us perform heroic deeds so that our names will live on in history forever. Some of us get onto Ripley's Believe It Or Not with the world's longest moustache or beating the world record for smashing melons with our head, or some such nonsense, so that we'll achieve digital immortality. Some of us cling to the idea that a god will give us eternal life in some form after death.
For those of us who don't find this pseudo-immortality or unguaranteed immortality satisfying, there's a need to create our own purpose in life. This is where Buddhism fits the bill nicely. Instead of being ruled by the ego and its fears, get rid of it! Being rid of the ego and the suffering it brings is what Ajahn Jagaro called "True Freedom" - a very appealing idea for all of us.
If we don't achieve true freedom in this life, we should get another chance in a future life. But simply diminishing the ego and increasing freedom in this life seems like a worthwhile purpose to me.
What's the difference between Theravada and Mahayana?
To preserve the monastic order, the Buddha set down 227 rules for a bhikkhu (monk) to observe and 311 for a bhikkhuni (nun). Before his death (known as parinirvana) he said that some minor rules could be changed.
Within a short time of his passing away there was disagreement over what could be changed and different sects emerged. The more reformist sects later called themselves Mahayana (greater vehicle) and referred to the conservative sects as Hinayana (lesser vehicle). The only conservative sect remaining today is Theravada, which is prevalent in Sri Lanka, Burma and Thailand. Theravada recognises the Pali Canon as its scriptures and a variety of ancient Theravadin commentaries.
Whereas Theravada spread to the south and east, Mahayana moved to the northwest through what is now Pakistan and Afghanistan and then across Central Asia to China, Tibet, Vietnam, Korea and Japan. For historical reasons, the language of Mahayana scriptures was Sanskrit and that of Theravada was Pali. Hence the difference in spelling of some common Buddhist terms: Nirvana/Nibbana, Sutra/Sutta, Karma/Kamma, Dharma/Damma, etc. Westerners are more familiar with Mahayana Sanskrit terms.
Mahayana also has its own scriptures in addition to the Pali Canon, the most important of which is the Lotus Sutra. These sutras are purported to be the Buddha's secret "higher" teachings, which were handed down only to those who were ready for them - an idea emphasised at the beginning of the Lotus Sutra.
Apart from a modified monastic code which made monasticism possible in harsh environments such as Tibet, Mahayana emphasises the Bodhisattva Ideal, where a man vows not to achieve final enlightenment until all sentient beings have been saved. So anyone helping others to achieve enlightenment can be considered a bodhisattva. In Theravada, the term bodhisattva usually refers only to the historical Buddha in his previous lives. Historically, some Mahayanists consider Theravadins to be selfish for seeking enlightenment only for themselves, while some Theravadins consider Mahayanists to have deviated from what the Buddha taught.
The various sutras and sects of Mahayana reflect different ways of reaching enlightenment appropriate for different people with different levels of ability. Because of this, a number of "mythical" buddhas and bodhisattvas are revered and used as objects of meditation. Theravadins revere only the historical Buddha and only his image is seen in temples.
Mahayana tends to emphasise the concept of sunyata (void-ness) in its teachings and tends to have a more specific idea of what passes from rebirth to rebirth (consciousness, comprising awareness and memory).
Personally, I found that the more I read about Mahayana and the Tibetan tradition known as Vajrayana, the more I accepted that all sects are going in the same direction and there is no point in considering any one of them better than another.
Which tradition should I choose?
I suggest reading about Theravada first and then investigating the other traditions to see which suits you best. Your decision may also depend on your Buddhist friends and what is available where you live.
As far as I know, the main traditions known in the West are Theravada, Tibetan, Zen, Pure Land and Nichiren. One myth that seems to have grown up over the years is that with Mahayana one can reach enlightenment in one lifetime whereas with Theravada it takes aeons. This notion seems to have been pushed by the Chinese Zen patriarchs, in particular Huang Po, as illustrated in The Zen Teaching of Huang Po. In modern times the idea has been spread by influential author-scholar John Blofeld, who translated Huang Po's works into English and wrote several excellent books on Buddhism. But it all seems pretty ridiculous because how could anyone know how many lives ago any particular person started consciously working towards enlightenment?
Blofeld followed Zen and then Tibetan Buddhist Tantrism, describing both as the "Short Path." However, it isn't difficult to see that any tradition that emphasises meditation - as the Buddha did - will be a short path. In the past century, the Thai Forest Tradition is a good example of a Theravadin tradition that produced a number of enlightened masters.
According to Blofeld, Mahayana and Tibetan Buddhism in particular offer ways of practice to suit people at every level. After all, not everyone has an aptitude for meditation. A lot of people prefer something simpler, such as praying, chanting, various forms of devotion and pilgrimages. He describes Zen and Theravada as "formless," meaning the practice is mostly just you and your mind. But in fact there's a lot more to both than just meditation.
Tibetan Buddhism seems to attract Westerners because there are now a lot of Tibetan lamas and monasteries in the West, because of the charisma of the Dalai Lama, because it can be a "Short Path," because of its reputation for developing psychic powers and because of its many varied methods of practice. However, Tibetan Buddhism has absorbed much of the ancient, shamanistic Bon religion of Tibet, so it's wise to read up on Tibet thoroughly before committing to it.
Zen attracts Westerners because it's something of a "back to basics" tradition with an emphasis on meditation and very little ritual. Sakyamuni, the historical Buddha, is revered rather than the other mythical buddhas and bodhisattvas of the Mahayana sutras. Although it originated in China, the type of Zen practised in the West is mostly Japanese.
Theravada attracts Western practicioners because it is seen as the oldest and purest form of Buddhism, one that reveres only Sakyamuni and in theory concentrates on meditation. The Thai Forest Tradition which developed in the late 1800s was an effort to practise exactly as the Buddha did, wandering in the jungle and meditating in caves. Although the jungle is largely gone now, a number of Westerners joined Ajahn Chah's international monastery in the 1970s and later spread the practice in other countries: Ajahn Jagaro and Ajahn Brahm in Australia, Thanissaro Bhikkhu in the USA and Ajahn Sumedho in the UK. For a brief look at the origins of this tradition, see Thanissaro Bhikkhu's Customs of the Noble Ones. For a more detailed treatment, read Forest Recollections.
Pure Land was once widespread in China and is still practised among Chinese around the world. A refined form of Pure Land (Jodo and Shin Jodo) developed in Japan and has spread to the West. Pure Land involves purifying the mind by chanting the name of the Amitabha (Amida) Buddha to gain help in reaching a realm after death from where it is easy to reach enlightenment. On a deeper level, Pure Land equals pure mind and Amitabha represents our own qualities rather than an external saviour. Pure Land is sometimes combined with Zen practice.
Nichiren is a homegrown Japanese tradition advocating chanting of a phrase hailing the Lotus Sutra. An offshoot of Nichiren is the lay organisation, Sokka Gakai International.
There are a few Buddhist sects and organisations that are controversial in some way, usually because of their founder/leader or his particular beliefs. Before getting involved with Sokka Gakai (SGI), the Friends of the Western Buddhist Order (FWBO), Shugden or Diamond Way (Karma Kagyu), you might want to google for information about their background.
How do I become a Buddhist?
Although there is a ceremony of taking the Three Refuges (the Buddha, the Dharma, and the Sangha), there isn't any "conversion" involved and you aren't required to renounce any other religion or beliefs. In fact, it seems to be more of a social statement to show others that you have become a Buddhist.
In my opinion, once you accept the Buddha's teachings as a way of life and try to follow the Five Precepts for lay people, you're a Buddhist. For me, this involved a lot of reading Dharma and listening to Dharma talks on the Internet. Rather than read the scriptures (which are often difficult), I chose books by monks and nuns who already had a deep knowledge of Dharma through study and practice, and who had a talent for explaining it. I looked at how Buddhism developed over the millennia and decided to start off with Theravada, which is the original form of Buddhism based on the Pali Canon. Later, I investigated the various Mahayana traditions too.
It was obvious to me that reducing the power of the ego to control our lives was a foundation of Buddhism. For my practice, I concentrated on Right Speech (a component of the Noble Eightfold Path) because I thought it would give the fastest results. I expected if I started being nice to people, eventually they'd be nicer to me. That happened, but much more than that. I found myself examining my intentions every time I felt like defending my views, arguing with someone, contradicting them, criticizing them, comparing myself with them or judging them in any way at all.
Pretty soon it was obvious that much of what I said or did was designed to boost my sense of self-worth and that "true freedom" was to escape this tyranny of the ego.
Later I started meditating, since this is the only way to experience the truth of the teaching rather than just understanding them intellectually. Even though the majority of people born into Buddhism may not meditate, it's essential for the serious Buddhist.
Some Westerners have a problem with whether they are or aren't a Buddhist, usually because they still have some belief in god or because they haven't come to believe in rebirth. The following talk by Ajahn Jagaro, a Western monk of the Thai Forest Tradition, will be helpful for anyone asking himself, "Am I a Buddhist?"
______________________________________...
Am I a Buddhist?
by Ajahn Jagaro
Teaching people who have only recently encountered Buddhism I am often asked the question "How do you become a Buddhist?" or "How do you know when you are a Buddhist?" This type of enquiry is indeed healthy and to be encouraged not only amongst those new to Buddhism but also for people born and raised as Buddhists. So go ahead and ask yourself: "Am I a Buddhist?"
I expect that there will be many who will answer "Yes" and those who say "No", but I wonder how many will be thinking "Oh ... Ahm,.. I don't know." So let us contemplate this business of being a Buddhist a bit more.
To begin our enquiry it may be worthwhile to know what the Buddha said on the matter. The following episode is taken from the Buddhist scriptures (Anguttara Nikaya, Vol IV):
"Once, the Lord dwelt amongst the Sakyans in the Banyan Tree Monastery at Kapilavatthu, and while there, Mahanama the Sakyan came to him and asked;
"How, Lord, does one become a lay disciple?"
"When one has taken refuge in the Buddha, the Dhamma and the Sangha, then one is a lay disciple".
"How, Lord, is a lay disciple virtuous?"
"When a lay disciple abstains from killing, stealing, sexual misconduct, lying and drinking intoxicants, then he is virtuous."
Here the Buddha clearly states that by taking refuge in the Buddha, Dhamma and Sangha one becomes a disciple or, in modern terminology, a Buddhist. The classical formula of going for refuge, which has been passed down from the time of the Buddha is as follows;
Buddham Saranam Gacchami (I go for refuge to the Buddha)
Dhammam Saranam Gacchami (I go for refuge to the Dhamma)
Sangham Saranam Gacchami (I go for refuge to the Sangha)
However one does not become a Buddhist through the mere repetition of these words nor by the performance of any other ceremony ritual or initiation. On the other hand, though one has not performed any ceremony or ritual, one may still be a Buddhist. Put simply, this means that no one can make you a Buddhist nor can anyone stop you from being a Buddhist. It is a volitional choice that one makes when one has sufficient confidence in the Teacher and the Teaching. In the commentaries to the scriptures it explains this as, "It is an act of consciousness devoid of defilements, motivated by confidence in and reverence for the Triple Gem"...
Here I would like to relate something of my own experience to help explain this point. When I first came in contact with Buddhism I did not consider myself a religious person. If anything, I thought of myself as an atheist and felt that religion had little relevance to real life. However, I did find the Buddha's Teachings and in particular the practice of meditation very appealing. I had a desire to find out more about it and this lead me into a monastery where I was eventually ordained as a monk.
One day a young Thai student, wanting to practise his English, casually asked me "Are you a Buddhist?" But in my mind I wondered whether or not I was a Buddhist. I must confess that it was a strange position to be in - a Buddhist monk who doesn't know whether he is a Buddhist! Yet that situation persisted for over a year before the meaning of both the question and the answer became clear to me.
During that year as I continued to study and practise the Dhamma I began to feel very comfortable with the teaching and increasingly confident that this was the way for me. With this came the conscious recognition that I had chosen the Buddha as my Teacher and considered him as the embodiment of the spiritual ideals of peace and liberation. I had also chosen to follow the path contained in his Teaching (the Dhamma) being confident that it would lead to liberation. And while on this path I would seek the guidance and try to emulate the example of all the noble disciples who constitute the Sangha. It was indeed wonderful to discover that I was a Buddhist and not just a Buddhist monk!
Now becoming a Buddhist does not mean that one has to either agree with or believe in everything that is taught or practised by all the countless Buddhist sects and groups throughout the world. Nor do we have to believe that it is the only way and that all the other religions are no good. It simply means that having looked at and probed into this teaching of the Buddha, having tried it and having seen that it does work, one has confidence in it and chooses to take refuge in the Buddha, the Dhamma, and Sangha.
However if you are still unsure as to whether you are a Buddhist or you are not, don't worry about it, just keep on practising.
With Metta,
Jagaro Bhikkhu.
______________________________________...
If you found this page useful or have any comments you can contact me at craigo@tale ofgenji.org.

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Dhamma friend,
My master once told a Prof.of psychology from Cambrige U(a Buddhist as well) that he is a seeker of knowledge only.Having knowledge is good,but the ability to use the knowledge to advance spiritually is better.
The Buddha has shown us the WAY,we have to step onto the path and travel on it.All the academic discussion is good,but without travelling the Path shown by the Buddha,it is useless.

'Appamadena sampadetha vaya dhamma sankhara'

'Work diligently.All component things are impermanent.'

Fasting question?

I'm doing a 30-hour famine with my friend's church to raise money for children in Africa. I do want to do this in a healthy way though so that I don't pass out or get sick from not eating. The fast started an hour ago and it lasts until 7pm Saturday night, so I have 29 more hours of not eating. Any tips on what to drink? (No dairy but anything else is fine). Or what to do to not get hungry? thanks! :)

PLEASE NOTE: I'm doing it for religious reasons, not for weight loss/diet reasons, so please don't give me any lectures!

Hey. Good on you for doing some fundraising!
Fruit juives are a great source of essential minerals and vitamins. Some have pieces of fruit in (i.e. orange juice with bits in) and that can help you to feel like you have eaten something.
Water is great. it'll keep you hydrated and can also help you to feel full as well.
If you get really desperate, try a cup-a-soup, they are practically liquid so you're not eating anything solid, but they'll keep you going, and they are low in calories too.
If you feel hungry try doing a little light exercise. walk around the room, take your mind off it but don't do anything to strenuous.
Good luck with the fast!

Writers please rate my story it's chapter one. I promise youll love it. If you do please star it?

"My eyes opened and I realized I was resting on a soft bed. I was covered with a soft baby blue blanket. The birds chirped rhythmically, and the sunlight reflected from the window adjacent from the bed was hurting my eyes. I could easily tell the time of day was morning. I sat up looked around the bedroom, the walls were painted pink, the drawers and bookshelves standing opposite of the window were just as blue as the blanket that I had just pulled off. The room was unfamiliar to me. I wondered how I got here. I could not recall anything that occurred before this present point, nothing at all.

I got out of bed and there was a sound coming from the polished wooden floor. I looked down and saw a silver heart shaped pendant bonded with thin silver chains. I bent over and picked up the locket. It was the size of my thumb, and it shined like precious diamonds in the sunlight behind me. I turned the heart shaped locket and saw a small clasp. I opened the locket and saw a photo of a young woman on the left who seemed to be wearing a casual purple dress. Next to her on the right was a little girl, who wore similar clothing except that she wore pink instead of purple. Both of them had long black hair and they were smiling at each other. I glanced at the little girl again, and although the child seemed so cute, she also seemed very familiar. On the left side of the locket I saw a something printed on the silver metal. The upper left corners of the heart locket were two letters engraved “L.R” printed on small letters and in the middle of the heart, there was date carved into the locket that said:

20
December
1995

The date on the locket caught my attention. I wondered why the date was even printed there. What happened on that day? Why was it so significant? Who does this locket belong to. There was a knock on the door, and I almost jumped in surprise when I heard it. I watched the door and remained alert, until seconds later, the door opened. The one who knocked on the door was a young woman, wearing a white dress and I also noticed a white apron she was wearing that seemed to blend in. Her rectangular glasses were crooked, it looks as if it were about to fall off her face. Her face was dirty, and her crimson hair looked as if it were never brushed for weeks perhaps months. Her emerald eyes came into contact with mine, and said to me in a somewhat timid voice.

“Oh, you’re awake”

I continued to stare at her, and said nothing.

“What’s your name?” said the woman, smiling lightly “My name is Solana Frosty.”

Unfortunately I didn’t have an answer to that question. I felt pretty stupid not knowing my own name, so I remained silent and continued to gaze at her.

“Um, you don’t talk much do you?” said Solana, timidly. “My daughter Aiyana found you in the forest out cold so we took you in our home and placed you in her room. Um….. Are you feeling okay?”

I nodded lightly.

“I’m glad to hear it!” said Solana, smiling brightly. “Come downstairs, I made some breakfast. When you’re finished eating we can call your parents. How old are you by the way?”

“T-Tw-Twelve” I answered a little unsure of myself.

“Oh that’s great!” Said Solana insecurely, “Aiyana is just about your age- Well, perhaps. She’ll be turning twelve in a few days, so I’m sure you two would get along just fine. Now please come downstairs for some breakfast. I didn’t expect you to be awake at this time. After breakfast we’ll call your parents, they must be worried sick about you. So we’ll just let them know that you’re okay”

Solana turned around and left. Seconds later, I got up off the floor, where I was sat, left the room and went down the stairs. After I reached the first floor, I heard a voice calling to me.

“Hey, come over here! Come in the kitchen”

I turned to where the voice was coming from. It was Solana and another girl who had long scarlet hair just like Solana’s in a kitchen. I walked inside the kitchen where the girl sat at a circular wooden table that was near a corner of the kitchen. The table had a large plate with a layer of pancakes on a plate and a bottle of maple syrup sitting there. I gagged at the odor of burnt food. The sink next to me was piled with dirty dishes. There were shards of broken glass on the white tile floors. I almost stepped on them, while I was still barefoot. Solana was near an oven holding a silver metal spatula, jumping and shrieking hysterically trying to put out the flames that bloomed from the stove just a second ago. I sat at the table where the girl sat. I gazed at her for a moment. The girl looked back at me and grinned.

“Oh hello,” She said quickly, “Don’t mind my Mom, she’s very clumsy when it comes to housekeeping. As you can see, she’s not always the best cook. Although she’s very clumsy and careless, she has her moments. She’s only like this when she’s stressed out. It’s very typical for adults. Oh, I’m so sorry, I forgot to introduce myself. I’m Aiyana.”

Aiyana reached out her right hand towards me.

I looked at her hand. I wondered what she made that gesture for. I continued to stare at it.
“What’s your name” She asked.

My eyes were drawn from her hand to her face. It’s that question again. I was gnawing my bottom lip, trying hard to remember, but it was impossible. I gave Aiyana a light shrug. Aiyana frowned.

“I tried asking her the same thing,” said Solana finally finished extinguishing the flames on the stove, “but she wouldn’t tell me. She must be shy, let’s give her some time to relax a bit. Aiyana pumpkin, go to the living room and find the phone. I think it’s time we call her parents.”

Aiyana looked at her mother and nodded. She got up off her chair and left the kitchen. Now my attention is drawn to Solana, who smiled at me, placed some pancakes on the plate in front of me and said,

“Please eat some pancakes, they’re really tasty. I don’t want you to go hungry. I’ll give you a fork and a glass of orange juice.”

Solana handed me a silver metal fork. She also grasped the bottle of maple syrup and poured its sticky brown contents on the plate of pancakes. I looked down to examine them.

“Hmm,” said Solana. “It seems that you have never tasted pancakes before. Just cut a piece off and eat it.”

I looked up at Solana once more, remembering what Aiyana told me earlier, that she isn’t always the best cook. I assumed that these pancakes of hers would not taste very pleasant. I thought of Solana as a very kind person and the last thing I wanted to do is offend her. With my assumption set aside, I grabbed the fork. I cut off a piece of the pancake and placed it into my open mouth. I chewed slowly. The food was soft and tasted sugary. While eating it I had this pleasant feeling, I assumed that the pancakes would taste horrible, but it was the opposite. I looked up at Solana again and smiled. Solana smiled back at me.

“I’m glad you like it” She said sweetly. “Would you like some orange juice? You’ll like this one, very natural.

Solana went to the refrigerator at the other side of the kitchen. She opened the door on the right. Reached in and pulled out a pitcher of some kind of yellowish substance, then she closed the door and placed the pitcher on the counter. She reached for the cupboard next to refrigerator for a clear glass cup. She took a cup from the cupboard and placed it on the counter as well. She poured the orange juice from the pitcher into the glass cup, and handed it to me. I looked into the cup of orange juice and saw something lumpy, there seems to be some foreign material inside.

“Oh don’t worry about the stuff in there,” said Solana sweetly “That’s just the pulp, dear. It’s natural orange juice. The pulp happens to be very healthy. Go on just drink it!”

I took a small sip of orange juice. Despite the uncomfortable pulp rushing into my lips, it tasted pretty good.

Aiyana has just arrived in the kitchen holding a white cordless phone and handed it to me. I looked down at the phone, then who looked up at Solana, who nodded. I looked down at the phone again and pushed the green call button. There was a loud dial tone. I remained still trying to decide what button to press. The left side of my head ached. Random thoughts swirled into my head. I shut off the phone and placed it on the table. Aiyana and Solana exchanged looks, and then looked at me again.

“Erm…” said Solana nervously, “You don’t know your parents’ phone number?”
I shook my head lightly. Solana frowned.

“Um… okay” she said, “What about parent last name?”

I shrugged. Solana sighed.

“Wow,” said Aiyana, quickly, “you must not remember anything at all. Mom, I think she has amnesia”

I looked down at my feet and sighed. My entire face contracted and I clenched my fists firmly as if I was squeezing something. I took three slow deep breaths. Solana kneeled down next to me. I looked at her then she smiled sweetly.

“Oh, No worries,” She said kindheartedly, “you will get you memories back soon. You can stay with us if you’d like, if it’s okay with Aiyana, you can sleep in her room. Aiyana, take this girl to the office upstairs. You are going to the missing child registry. You are not to go on any other site. We are doing this to help her find her parents and pick up any information about her., not shop for “cute boys” on the internet. Do I make myself clear, young lady?”
Aiyana’s face turned red.

“I do NOT look at boys.” She shouted, in an astounded tone “Ugh, oh whatever.”

Aiyana turned around and quickly left the kitchen. Then suddenly she stopped and turned to look at me.

“Well?” she said, “Are you coming?”

I got up and followed Aiyana up the stairs and into a hallway. We stopped at a door that was right next to Aiyana’s room. She opened it, and hit the switch, which caused the light to turn on. I felt slightly uncomfortable when I saw the room. The office was even messier than the kitchen. There were open books, open folders, and loose papers, most of them flying around in random directions on the floor. The desk was cluttered with papers. The black chair seemed to have fallen over, with its back to the floor. The file cabinet in the very back of the room had all of its drawers open and it also seem to have tipped over. The fan on the ceiling was twirling at a rapid pace. If it wasn’t swinging and rocking so violently, it would have spun a little bit faster.

Aiyana was the first person to enter the office. She walked to the desk and pushed away some papers resting on it. Under the papers was a small black square, which had the logo “In-Tech” printed on it. She opened it. She also found some cords on the floor, and connected them to the machine. I walked into the office and sat on the floor. Aiyana looked at me and laughed.

“Don’t mind this room either,” she said, “My mom is a journalist. A much respected one I might add. She’s a very messy person, as you can see. She’d clean the place up if she weren’t too busy with her deadlines, and her stories. She’d hire a maid to clean from time to time.”

It took several minutes to set up the machine. She placed the chair into its proper position. She turned it on the machine, and turned to me once more.

“Go on” she said sweetly, “Sit down.

I got up off the floor and sat on the chair. The machine Aiyana was setting up was actually a laptop computer. We finally reached the website, childregistry.gov. The arrow on the screen moved around slowly until it stopped on a link that said “Missing children” that was written in bold letters.

“So,” said Aiyana nervously. “Do you know how to use a laptop? It’s simple.”

She pointed to the buttons on the bottom of the machine. There were several buttons there, too many to count. The letters on the keyboard were not systematized correctly. It seemed to be arranged in some random order. Aiyana pointed to a black ball, buried into the machine along with two buttons.

“Okay, this is simple,” said Aiyana quickly “you see how I moved the arrow around the screen?”

The arrow on the screen moved sideways. Then it went back to the words ‘Missing Children’. I looked back down onto the keys, and saw Aiyana’s fingers, that touched a black ball.

“If you want to move the arrow, do this,” she continued, then one of her fingers was rolling the little ball in circles. “Then if you want to go somewhere click- uh… I mean… take the arrow and do this” She pushed the second of the two buttons at the bottom of the ball. “But you can click on every word on the page, but you can only click on something if the arrow turns into a hand. Understand?”

I nodded, and understood very well what she just said. The page then completely changed into something different. This time there were pictures of children’s faces. Some of them smiling, and the rest of them were showing an empty expression.

“Okay, if you really don’t know your name,” Aiyana went on, “You see these pictures, here? If you can find a picture with your face on it, then you click on that picture so you can find more information on this person, even the name, age, where he or she is from, and how long ago the child is missing. I’d love to help you, but look at the time. I’m going to be late for school”
She pointed to something on the bottom right corner of the screen. It said 8:09 A.M. I knew what to do, so I smiled at her. Aiyana seemed to understand that her assistance here was not needed so she turned around and left the office, then suddenly she came back.

“Wait,” she said, who seemed to have just remembered something. “Wait here, I’ll be right back”

She walked off. Now my focused was now turned to the computer. I looked down and placed my fingers on that little ball that Aiyana was using to move the arrow on the screen. I slid the arrows to a row of four pictures, all of them dark skinned. I raised my free hand in front of me to examine it to see if I have the same skin tone as those children on the page have, but it wasn’t even close to the same. The second girl also had dark skin, she wasn’t smiling, but she appeared to have several scabs on her face, which was one of the features that interest me. I looked at her lip that appeared to be split in two and it was also covered in blood.

“I told you I wouldn’t be gone long” a voice called out of nowhere.

I turned to the entrance of the office and saw Aiyana there, holding two items. She entered the room and placed the items on the desk next to me. One of them was the silver heart-shaped locket I had earlier, and admittedly I had forgotten all about it. The second item was a magenta framed mirror.

“I’m sure these will help you,” said Aiyana “This necklace, I found this. I think this is yours. The little girl in the picture does resemble you very well. I also brought this mirror, just in case if you can’t remember your face, you can always look in this mirror. Well, I have to go get dressed. Good luck!”

I nodded once more. Aiyana turned around and left. I looked into the mirror sitting on the desk, and saw a girl with a pale face and was showing a blank expression. She had long, glossy black hair, long enough for the ends to reach the shoulders. I memorized the face in the mirror and continued my search. After fifteen minutes, I did not find anything. There were sixteen pages in all and I had already reached the sixth page. My fist clenched tightly. I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths to remove the strain that’s been in my head since I started the search. Finally feeling at ease, I continued on.

It’s been exactly 42 minutes since the search began. My head collapsed on top of the keys. I was on the thirteenth page. I made a deep sigh, and I considered forfeiting the search entirely.

“Any luck finding anything?” asked the unexpected voice coming from the entrance.

I turned to the direction of the voice and lifted my head. There was Solana standing at the door, who’s clothing looked professional. Her hair was pulled back into a bun and she was carrying a black leather suitcase. Her outfit looked surprisingly neater than the clothes she had on earlier this morning.

“Did you find anything yet?” She asked.

“No.”

“Keep trying,” Said Solana encouragingly, “I’m sure you’ll find something. Anyways, I’m going to drive Aiyana to school. Then I have to go to a business meeting at work. I’ll be back in about an hour. So if you’re hungry, help yourself to anything in the fridge. I’ll be back soon”

It’s been approximately sixteen minutes since Solana had left. I reached the final page of the registry and I have not found anything. I was finally able to conclude that I was not on the Missing child Registry. I could have checked again, but didn’t feel much like going on the computer again. My eyes were getting heavy and I have been yawning relentlessly for the past hour. Looking around for something to occupy myself became very difficult, if not impossible. I got up off my chair and paced around the room. Until I noticed the file cabinet in a corner, leaning forward with all three drawers open. I hoisted the cabinet into its erect position. I closed the top two drawers, the filing cabinet wont tip over again. I took a seat on the floor in front of the last drawer that remains opened and saw a pile of newspapers. What caught my interest right away was a yellow newspaper buried in the pile with the headlines “WANTED ALIVE” printed on the top of the page in large letterings. I grabbed the paper out of the drawer and examined it further. It smelled like coffee. The newspaper was dry and yellow and some of the text was either worn out or was washed away by some kind of liquid substance. I also noticed the snapshot of a girl in the middle of the page. Half of her face was covered in coffee stains, making it difficult for me to see her in detail. But for some reason, I felt as if I’ve seen this girl before. A gut feeling inside of me is telling me to take this paper and read it. I got to my feet with the paper in hand, took the locket and the mirror and left the office. I went back into Aiyana’s room and rested on the bed. I examined the old newspaper once more, and realized that I had without doubt had seen this girl before, and I had a feeling where. I took the locket, opened it and to my surprise, the photo on the locket and the other on the newspaper were a perfect match. I placed the locket on the floor and started to read the front page.

picture here

WANTED: ALIVE

Grendel Police are on the search for this 7yrd old girl by the name of Lily Rosewood, who was last seen with escaped convict 31yr old Paul Keating, who was arrested for kidnapping the girl and exploiting her supernatural abilities to commit heinious crimes. One of them was the recent massacre in the mall where 31 people died and 4 people were left in a coma, and 17 people, all of them seriously injured.
Police arrested Keating, at his home outside Grendel, and found the child sleeping upstairs. He was charged with one count of kidnapping, one count of contributing to the delinquency of a minor and 31 counts of first degree murder. He is awaiting trial as we speak. The child however was sent to Caring bears home, a children's home funded by the city and supported by the citizens donations. Any one who is seen this child please call local police.

The bottom of the article seems to be torn off. There seems to be more to this article, I thought. I had just noticed the Letters L and R, the same letters carved on the locket. The two letters had long spaces in between them, possibly because the coffee stain covered some of the text, making the ink spread and the paper difficult to read. A natural feeling inside of me is telling me to keep this paper and this must be an important clue to my past. I got to my feet and left the newspaper sitting on the bed. I grabbed my necklace and secured it around my neck. I left the room and went back into the office to search for the missing piece of the paper. After a few minutes of searching nearly all over of the office, there weren’t any old yellow pieces of newspaper.

* 1 week ago
* - 3 hours left to answer.

Additional Details

1 week ago
PLEASE DON'T JUST SAY YOU LIKE IT, PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU LIKED ABOUT IT AND HOW YOU THINK I SHOULD IMPROVE. iF YOU ALL LIKE IT PLEASE STAR IT.

You have a very interesting beginning for the story and the potential for it to go quite well. I like the description of what the main character sees, etc.

Areas to work on:
Try to avoid using repeated pronouns as the subject so often. This is difficult when you write a story in first person like you have, but still, it gets annoying to the reader to repeat words. Try rewording the sentence to avoid beginning it with "I" or "she" always.

Your sentences get choppy at times. By that I mean short followed by another 2 or 3 shorts. Use more sentence variety. Maybe one would be a longer sentence where you would use connecting words like "therefore", "however", "as well as" etc. and then the following sentence would be shorter for making a quick point and emphasis.

Make sure your first sentence hooks the reader to want to read the 2nd and so forth throughout the first few paragraphs. Once they're hooked, it's a lot easier usually. When I write [which I do constantly] I usually spend more than half the time of the first chapter solely on the first paragraph.

Last item, your speech is not quite natural. Spell out the conversations as you would say them, and then write them down with a little less perfect grammar if necessary or whatever reflection you wish to use of the speaker's accent or dialect.

Overall, I applaud you for beginning an overall excellent job. I enjoyed reading the story and look forward to continuing to watch its progress. With only a little editting here and there, I see wonderful potential for it. GREAT JOB!

PS Don't look at it as a bad thing for editing. I've written many works now and always I have to go back and edit/change/alter/re-word and sometimes even completely re-do an entire section before it becomes perfect. It's all part of the process. You really are doing a great job!

Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?

Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?

Here is a little test that should help you decide.

The answer may be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your spouse and two small
children.
Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner,
locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife,
and charges at you. You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are
an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do??

Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's just not enough information to answer the question.
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my spouse think?
What do the kids think?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the gun have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be content with killing just me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a Paint & Weed day, and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few
days and try to come to a consensus.

Republican's Answer:
BANG!

Southerner's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click (Sound of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?"
Son: "Can I shoot the next one!"
Wife: "You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!

When threatened in such a way I will pull my gun and shoot. However, contrary to what is written here, in the South we do not usually need to reload in order to get the job done.